A Beetlejuice Rerun.......

Okay, I have to admit that I am posting this at the request of my friend Edith Ann(and that's the truth),and after reading a similar article in today's Advocate. Actually, this originally appeared in the Advocate back in 2006, but I s'pose since I wrote it, it isn't technically plagiarism, right?

Breakfast With The Beetles
By pilot in A Pirate Aground In The City
January 27, 2006

Eewww factor high on this one......I caught a piece of a story on the radio about 4:30 this morning on the way to work, regarding the pretty colored fruit on the bottom of Yoplait Raspberry Yogurt, and ruby red grapefruit juice. It turns out that they don't come by those bright red hues quite so naturally, and need a bit of a boost in the pigmentation department to spiff 'em up and make them look all the more tasty, they do. Also turns out that the most effective and safe coloring agent for these products, comes from a little cactus eating female beetle from south of the border known as Dactylopius coccus.


By the way, they also use this dye in shampoo, candy, and many other products as well.
Credit the Aztecs and Mexican indigenous tribes for discovering this little bug, and the Spaniards for capitalizing on it.

Yes Birddog - I Snopes'd this one. Like I said - 8.5 eewww factor. Probably pegs the needle on the PETA (people eating tasty animals) meter too, considering it takes about 70,000 of these ladybugs to make a pound of dye.
I'd love to hammer on this one more, but it's time to head downstairs to the Greasy Spoon for a yogurt and some grapefruit juice.........

Read about your breakfast here:
http://www.snopes.com/food/ingredient/bugjuice.htm

What's Next - Transgendered History Month?

Caught an editorial in today's Victoria Advocate, that got my attention for a couple of reasons. It was regarding Womens' History Month", and by the time I saw it, it had one typically inappropriate comment on it by a local freak, P.M. Tasin. I fired one over his bow, and in turn, it was along with his comment, summarily removed. Mission accomplished! Anyway, I started this as another comment to the article, and after reading it, decided it was a stand alone rant, so here it is:

Well now, we just had black history month. Then here comes womens' history month. I have looked briefly at my calendar, and have yet to find mens' history month...I suppose in a year or two, they'll have a transgendered history month as well. Has anyone else considered that these events are about as useful as some of the B.S. throwdown holidays that the banks and government closes their offices for? The majority of these little fiestas are just self serving events with a heavy slant toward commercialism. For my money there is a subject taught in schools today that should cover just about all of those who want to think that their race, gender, or religion is special enough to have a holiday. It's called "history". It pretty much is all encompassing. I think a country's Independence Day, and some other notable accomplishments or tragic events as a society, would qualify as a holiday - like Cinco de Mayo, Quatro de Julio, and especially Texas Independence day. Remember how in the interest of not being excessive, they just lumped Washington's birthday and Lincoln's B-Day into one day? Well maybe they could do the same with all of the women's history month, black history month, gay history month, etc., and just narrow it all down to "Human Day", and keep the banks and Post Office open a little more. I'd babble on about this here, but now I need to run out before all of the womens' history month cards get snapped up at HEB and CVS.

Kinky for ...........

.......well, hell, for something, please? Honestly, the man just wants to make a difference in our lives, and we should elect him for something, and give him his shot. Just returned from a Kinky Friedman concert at a little club here in the city tonight. A little chilly night to be sure, with a few pretty flurries, but unfortunately for my boys, nothing to make tomorrow a "snow day"........
I go back a lot of years with the Kinkster. Back to the time when he paid his filing fee to run for President against Jimmy Carter, and when Carter was campaigning to lower the speed limit to 55, Kinky one upped him by proposing a $54.95 speed limit. Yes, the man is just a tad irreverent, but his heart is in the right place, and he honestly wants to serve Texans in an elected office and to make a positive difference in our lives. That should count for something, shouldn't it? Tonight he showed his environmentalist side, when declaring that upon his death, rather than hog up more real estate, he'd like to be cremated, and have his ashes scattered in Rick Perry's hair. Now that brought a tear to my eye.
All kidding aside, Kinky was in town to entertain, not campaign, and for me, it took me back to the 'Dillo in Austin, in '75. He did his country crooner show, showcasing the talents of his lifelong buds, Lil' Jewford on piano and spoken word, and those of Ratzo, his capable guitarist and also old friend and "boy who travels with him". He took the time to read a chapter from his latest book as well, a touching tribute to his father, a WWII veteran, which all in attendance found quite moving and entertaining.

I so enjoyed his show, and was rewarded by a smile and pat on the shoulder from him coming and going to and from the stage, almost as if he recognized me from Austin so many years ago, as a member of his tribe. I have always told those who would listen, that he is a good man, and that he would be a step in the right direction, if elected to any office he aspired to. I hope this is his year.

Just for an example of Kinky's honesty and his earnest desire to represent us in our state government, allow me to share this......As far left as I lean, and as dad liberal/conservative as I am inclined to be, I was accompanied tonight by my sweet young companion of a couple of years now. She is, if categorized, about as conservative a person as you'll ever come across, and after having been dragged to the show by me, and subjected to a couple hours of the Kinkster's charm and bared soul, she declared that regardless of her political affiliations or her right leaning views, that Kinky will get her vote next week, as Agriculture Commissioner. Trust me, that is quite an endorsement coming from her, as she is not easily swayed, or inclined to be frivolous in her decision making. I hope you will see your way clear to vote for him as well.

Give The Masses What They Want........Dirty Laundry

Waking up a day after a major news story in Austin, and some serious dental surgery, I listened intently, as the local morning news gave way to Good Morning America this morning. While hoping for some new information on yesterday's one man war on the IRS, and his effort to start a civil war over taxes, I got a surprise. It seems that in their infinite wisdom and with their finger on the pulse of what "we" want as news, ABC's lead story was a feature on Tiger Woods impending confirmation of his status as a poontang hound, and details on how he plans to hold a press conference announcing his busi.....er personal course correction in life, his return to rehab, and just how he might get back into professional sports (and our wallets).......if we let him, huh?

Our Cu$tomer$ $afety And $atisfaction............

......are our biggest concern. Yeah, right. Yesterday Toyota was scratching their heads, trying to figure out WTF........ today, they claim to have nailed it, and the check is in the mail. Twixt you and be me, if I owned one of the vehicles in question, I'd give some serious second thought to tailgating my fellow drivers who I felt were impeding my getting to my destination, and I would certainly, if living in mountain terrain, consider taking the old Ford truck, rather than the Sequoia to King Soopers or Safeway for that twelve pack..........As with Tylenol, and any monster corporation caught with their pants down, and holding the bag after a major screw-up, they basically will just readjust their game plan and use the fudge factor built into their business model that addresses such unforeseen, but not unexpected anomalies. Almost makes me wish I had a throwdown Camry. That could prove to be a real moneymaker, having seen some of the ambulance chasing law firms' ads on local TV.........., you know, Ikeattorney.com, and the "Christian trial lawyers"........

Drugs: The Cow Versus the Cheetah..........

........not to be confused with the tortoise and the hare. Okay, I am referring to a story in today's paper:
http://www.victoriaadvocate.com/news/2010/jan/27/ab_brief_marijuana_012810_83132/?news
about a pot bust by DPS folks.

There will undoubtedly be some distraught and unhappy Iowans & Minnesotans as a result of this.....

I can't help but think that this senseless prohibition of an herb that is simply grown and smoked and consumed in it's natural state, is a terrible waste of manpower and resources that could be much more effectively utilized in combating serious narcotics and human trafficking. The deal with weed, is that it's so space consuming and easy to find, and considering the fact that probably two in ten vehicles that cross the border and travel north are carrying some, makes it a bird's nest on the ground for DPS and County Mounties looking to make a name for themselves. Reminds me of a funnyjunk.com piece I read not long ago about why people eat beef. It has nothing to do with us being "evolved" or particularly smart(not that I don't enjoy a good steak on occasion). What it's really about with the cows, is that those big fuckers are so easy to catch. We figured that part out long ago. It's simple. People are inherently lazy. Hell, did you ever stop to think that maybe chicken fried cheetah fillets just might taste like chocolate covered heroin? We'll never know though, because those little bastards are so fast.
Well, same with cocaine, heroin, meth, and the money they generate for the cartels. The weed is like catching Angus on the hoof, where the concentrated narcotics are a lot easier to hide and sneak by the revenooers. Take the herb out of the equation, and devote the resources to the dangerous stuff, and you'll make a bigger dent in the bad guys' business.

Food For Thought.........

......could it be that we are all, in our feeding frenzy to nitpick the local paper to death over grammar and spelling, actually pumping up their online hit count and boosting their circulation?????




Naaaah.......