Monday, December 28, 2009

Fly Naked.........

.....which will likely eventually lead to a lot more passengers flying "united" (and not all of them necessarily on United jets). Seriously, can you think of a better answer? The body scan x-ray machine you say? well, first, when Nigerian Akumba Matata boarded his last flight in Amsterdam, enroute to becoming a martyr and celebrity, he allegedly was screened by one of the new "pecker checker" devices, and nothing was found. I say rather than spending billions on screening devices, just make all passengers surrender their clothing and board naked. Maybe issue them a unisex disposable jumpsuit to travel in, and let that be that. That should pretty much take all the guesswork out of flying, huh? It might cause a bit of a stir at first, and put a dent in air travel for a spell, but you have to believe that it will be a cheap solution in more ways than one. To begin with, unless I misread the part of the Islamic law I thought I read, it is unlikely any of the potential bomb carrying culprits will be allowed according to their religious beliefs, to board a plane in the buff. Of all the species of animals on the planet, maybe this is the catalyst that will give the one holdout, pause to reflect over the silly need they have to feel like they should cover what they were born with, which coincidentally, is the same equipment every other passenger on the flight was born with as well.

As long as our government finds it necessary to meddle in other cultures and attempt to tell them where they can live, how they can worship, and how they should run their governments, I suspect we will be stuck with the fact that a few of them are going to want to cause us harm.

I say rather than allow them to control us with fear and intimidation, and force us to try to stay one step ahead of barbarians who still use rocks as weapons by investing billions in technology, we just go back to the basics, and make 'em strip to get on the plane. Should work. Where do you want me to stack my clothes miss?

Friday, December 25, 2009

The Vatican Bowl

In the second annual Vatican Bowl, the Pope was sacked early by Susanna Maiolo for the second year in a row. The play was overturned, as she was penalized for unnecessary roughness on a Cardinal.

Merry Christmas _ Peace On Earth



Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Extra Money for Christmas?

I just saw a little story on GMA about putting microchips under the skin of pets, to be able to locate them in the event they are stolen or wander off. Than made me smile, and remember fondly, an old friend I had back in Austin. I was at his house one day many years ago when we were much younger, and I noticed that he had a really cool new dog, and I asked what his name was. His answer? "Well I don't plan to have him long, but I guess I should name him, huh? I was thinking either "Lost Dog", or "Reward".....what do you think?"

Yes Victoria Lolita, There is a Santa,,,,hehe

Well, the Vicad has outdone themselves with one of their brain trusts coming up with the question of the day:
At what age should patents have the talk with their children about Santa........

Well, with the trend of earlier maturity, it is a fact that computers are even in kindergarden classrooms these days. I'd guess that many kids have already Googled Santa for an e-mail address, so they could ask for a new netbook, or a monster new gaming machine,and learned the news that way.
Otherwise, I would say that parents in Victoria should, now that the one of the young Advocate cubicle reporters has let the cat in the hat out of the bag, and alluded to the fact that there are "issues" with Santa, that some other parents had better be ready to come clean with their children who read the news in the paper or online on The Advocate. Seriously, I have looked at their bio photos, and even met some of these "reporters" in person. A couple aren't even tall enough to ride the rides at Disney World, and they look like they may need booster seats in their car. Then there is another one (I won't name names, but a month of the year comes to mind), who basically writes like a chilld. I mean, the very fact that the "question of the day" was about the non-subject, speaks volumes about the kiddie staff there. In all likelihood, the survey was originated by one of the reporters who was just told the truth themselves this year (sit down son, now that you have a job at the newspaper, and your own car, there is something I think your mom and I should tell you) and felt that it was such a blockbuster scoop of a story that it just had to be exposed. Lordy, I hope whoever decided on putting this in the paper, has already lost all their baby teeth, or they are in for another rude shock(but yet another story) soon as well..............
On the other hand, I can think of at least one or two among the news staff, who probably put their wisdom teeth under their pillow.

I must admit that I had to read this question twice, then try to guess which person's age they were surmising about, the parents or the kids. My first answer was going to be "age 27, because there are a lot of 27 year old parents around there these days that have children that are getting close to time to be measured for their quinceanera dresses".

To all my friends, Have a cool yule!

Monday, December 14, 2009

You Might Not Be A Dog Person If.........

yeah, I know sounds like "You might be a redneck......" Well, in truth, these do go hand in hand. I heard a story on the 10:00 news about an ordinance in Nassau Bay up here, that prohibited keeping dogs on chains in your yard. That reminded me of this old boy I knew down in Pasadena.....that's as in Gilley's - Pasa-git down-god gamn-dena, the blue collar capitol of Texas, just east of Houston, under the green cloud. This guy worked with me, and he came in one day telling me of a dog he got for his kid, that lived in his back yard. Now for my money, if the dog isn't allowed inside, you probably aren't cut out for a dog as a pet. Anyway, he'd come in daily with a new story of the dog's creativity in digging out of the yard and how he'd whupped it and made the fence stronger. Finally one day, when he'd just about given up, he came in and told of how he'd chained the poor creature to one of those patio umbrella concrete bases, and knew for sure he'd still be there when he got home. Next day he came in and said that the night before, on the way home, he encountered the dog two blocks away from the house backing up the street pulling that anchor behind him, making his escape. It was at that point I finally told him "Mark, I think that pooch is trying to tell you he'd like a change of residence". I can see putting Ol'Blue out front on a rope for some fresh air on occasion, but if you have a 7' wooden fence and your dog is still tied up and consistently manages to shed his restraints and scale the walls, it could be that you just weren't meant to be a dog owner. Take it from a dog person who has to kick the dog off the bed so I can sleep from time to time. If a dog likes you, he'll stick around..........might drive you up a wall, but they are about as faithful and loving a critter as you'll ever find...much more so than most humans.