Monday, December 28, 2009

Fly Naked.........

.....which will likely eventually lead to a lot more passengers flying "united" (and not all of them necessarily on United jets). Seriously, can you think of a better answer? The body scan x-ray machine you say? well, first, when Nigerian Akumba Matata boarded his last flight in Amsterdam, enroute to becoming a martyr and celebrity, he allegedly was screened by one of the new "pecker checker" devices, and nothing was found. I say rather than spending billions on screening devices, just make all passengers surrender their clothing and board naked. Maybe issue them a unisex disposable jumpsuit to travel in, and let that be that. That should pretty much take all the guesswork out of flying, huh? It might cause a bit of a stir at first, and put a dent in air travel for a spell, but you have to believe that it will be a cheap solution in more ways than one. To begin with, unless I misread the part of the Islamic law I thought I read, it is unlikely any of the potential bomb carrying culprits will be allowed according to their religious beliefs, to board a plane in the buff. Of all the species of animals on the planet, maybe this is the catalyst that will give the one holdout, pause to reflect over the silly need they have to feel like they should cover what they were born with, which coincidentally, is the same equipment every other passenger on the flight was born with as well.

As long as our government finds it necessary to meddle in other cultures and attempt to tell them where they can live, how they can worship, and how they should run their governments, I suspect we will be stuck with the fact that a few of them are going to want to cause us harm.

I say rather than allow them to control us with fear and intimidation, and force us to try to stay one step ahead of barbarians who still use rocks as weapons by investing billions in technology, we just go back to the basics, and make 'em strip to get on the plane. Should work. Where do you want me to stack my clothes miss?

6 comments:

Legion said...

Brilliant!!!

Flying naked would definitely give new meaning to carry on baggage.;)

Truth Ferret said...

This actually gives me the shivers, because the next step will be cavity searches. EEEEEWWWWWUUU.

I thought the puff of air that I got before I boarded a plane in Puerto Rico was strange enough, but when they took away my hand santizer and water bottle I was not amused.

Legion said...

Yikes TF,

Bend over, place your hands on the table and spre....

!!!!!!!! I would never fly again!

Pilot said...

There are very few of us who would likely describe ourselves as one who other folks would form a line to see nekkid, but you gotta admit that dollar for dollar, the government would get a lot more bang for their buck with a mandatory naked shakedown and doing away with about 90% of the rest of their security checks. And when I say "bang for their buck", I am not referring to any mile high club either.....

Truth Ferret said...

Oh, and another thing, Pilot, for some of us, we would have more places to hide if we DIDN'T wear clothes...some body parts are more under control with clothes on than off. Not trying to paint any ugly mind-pictures here for anyone, but this old body has more saggy parts than in the good ole days. And then there are men who have had one too many buffet trips and there would be a few extra "shelves" then when they were young. You get my drift, right. Flying naked would actually be more frightening to the cabin attendents than to the passengers...and what kind of seat protectors would we have. We have to find a different way of being safe. This whole idea of naked flying will give me nightmares and let's not even think about the ones who would have to deal with the bare-bottom babies.

Edith Ann said...

Oh Gawd! You guys are killing me!
It is going to take me days to get the visuals out of my head. Gee, thanks!